So, the wheels have been in motion for a hearing in regards to guardianship for my father. It's been a little over a month, so far.
I have mixed emotions about everything. For one, my sisters and I have been communicating with the attorney and the guardian who are filing to claim guardianship over my father. I have been waiting for this for a while, but I feel so disconnected. I have not met either the attorney or the guardian. This woman will be responsible for my father's care and well being, and it seems weird that I never met her. Depending on what is determined in court, this woman will be possibly directing all aspects of my father's life.
The guardian has been visiting my dad, making sure he's eating, and explaining to him the guardianship process. I don't know how much of this he is comprehending. The guardian has already seized his finances and consolidated them to one financial advisor. My father does not know this, and if he did, he would not handle it well at all. He has been paranoid all his life about people trying to take his money, and now his biggest fear has been realized. He doesn't know it yet, though.
He likes his privacy. The guardian assigned home healthcare for him starting on Tuesday. It all went well for a few hours until my father told the caregiver to leave because he didn't ask her to go there. Then, I guess, she couldn't get in the house the next day either. I don't know if he wouldn't let her in, or if he didn't hear her. Anyway, this seems like a bit of information that I would like to know.
I know that my dad is better off dealing with strangers, because it will take them a while to get past the orientation stage. At first, he will be nice, quiet and polite. Then it will take a while for him to really show the ugly side. With my sisters and I though, he really is familiar with us and comfortable. He can turn on a dime and lash out at us very rapidly. It difficult not to take it personally when it comes out of nowhere, and with such venom.
My dad has insisted a few times that I go there and help him sort out his bank accounts and help him with his taxes. So he wants me to go there before taxes are due. Which is only a few days after the hearing. I can't go there and explain to him why we can't go to the banks to get statements of his accounts that have been moved. And if we go to the banks and his accounts are gone, he will most likely cause a scene. And maybe I should let him. But if I don't show up, then he will take it as abandonment. As he always does. Lack of communication - abandonment. Going to visit him, but not staying long - abandonment. Not being able to help him with all his errands - idiocy, ignorance, ineptitude, disloyalty.
The guardian is pushing for us to be at the hearing. If my father sees us at the hearing, he will think of us as being "in on it." Which is part of what we have been trying to avoid by having the eldercare guardian file for guardianship, herself.
My life is such turmoil right now. My father's life is about to be in major turmoil. He thinks the hearing is a court case to "win". After he plans on winning it, he wants to go to the Bahamas. He has never wanted to go to the Bahamas in his life. I'm not sure where he got that idea. My guess is that going to the Philippines seems to far away or too difficult to travel to. But maybe the Bahamas is more attainable. I guess that is one of the places people go to to disappear.
Things are only going to get worse before they get better. But how much worse, who knows?
